Texting anxiety. This might sound a bit odd given we all love the idea of text messaging. Technology is a great tool, and we all love the ease of sending a quick message. But with each technological advancement we have to think about the consequences that can arise. The more we lean on our cell phones the less we connect with others, and this is more harmful than we can even imagine. There are a ton of issues that can arise if texting is a big part of how you and your loved ones communicate. Studies even show that texting can cause major anxiety. Now, we’re not here to tell you to give up your phone or to schedule blocks of time throughout the day to text. We get it, we love to text too! In this video Psychologist Kim Long talks about how texting anxiety can arise. Kim gives 6 strategies that will help you to set boundaries with texting and break free from the notification ding.
Where Texting Anxiety Comes From
We’re Not Mind Readers!
We love to pretend that we’re mind readers. We guess what the other person is thinking and make assumptions about their feelings. Texting only reinforces this problem. Body language and tone are both missing in a text message. We’re not able to read people over a phone, and we can’t create a connection with them. How many times have you misread a text message or misunderstood the tone, and it’s caused an argument? We’ve been there. There are loads of YouTube videos on this very problem because it’s become a stereotype that we misinterpret text messages.
The Waiting Game
Waiting for someone to respond to a text can actually cause people a lot of anxiety. If you’ve said something important, having to wait for a reply for who knows how long is mentally draining. Even if you’re not the person who gets anxious waiting for a reply, you might feel uncomfortable when other people expect prompt replies from you. In whatever case, the waiting game is problematic for someone! There are many studies that confirm text messaging can cause anxiety and worsen social anxiety. To learn more about how to deal with social anxiety, click here to read our blog on 4 Strategies to Manage Social Anxiety Disorders.
Texting Is Here, There, and Everywhere!
Text messaging makes it really hard to create boundaries. We just can’t seem to turn our phones off! In a perfect world we would hit that do-not-disturb button after a long day of work, but that’s easier said than done. When we hear the notification ding our automatic response is to answer the text message. Over time this can cause a strain on relationships and friendships. According to this article, 82% of adults believe that cell phone use in social situations hurts the conversation.
6 Strategies to Break Free From the Notification Ding
1. Make Yourself Aware
When you jump to answer a text message, be clear with yourself about why you’re choosing to text in that moment. The simple act of making yourself aware of your texting will help you determine when it’s necessary and when it’s not.
2. Set Those Boundaries!
We know, it’s hard. Give yourself some parameters for when it’s ok to text in a situation. You’re at the office but want to reach out to a friend – ok! You’re in the middle of dinner with your partner and you hear the ding – maybe a boundary is needed in this situation.
3. Notice Your Reactions
Reflect on your reactions to text messages and notice how you feel when you’re creating a text message. Do you feel nervous about the way you’re wording the message? You can also explore your reaction when someone you’ve texted doesn’t respond right away. This self reflection will help you determine what expectations you put on yourself and others when it comes to text messaging.
4. Sit With Uncomfortable Feelings
Whether you feel anxious about a serious text you’ve sent or you feel overwhelmed with others texting you, sit with these emotions. You can soothe yourself with self-talk, body strategies and emotion regulation strategies. For more strategies click here to read our blog on Grounding Techniques for Anxiety.
5. Put Your Phone Away
In situations where you’ve set boundaries for no texting, leave your phone in your bag or in another room. Out of sight out of mind!
6. Have Important Conversations Face-to-Face
This is so important! Having a heavily weighted conversation over text message creates a whirlwind of problems for both parties. The lack of body language, tone of voice and in person connection can make it really difficult to have an effective conversation.
Challenge Yourself
We know how hard it is to change habits – especially texting habits! But we invite you to challenge yourself and try some of these strategies. Your mental health is the most important thing, and it’s ok to set boundaries and not be available to people 24/7.
If you have trouble managing anxiety on your own and you just can’t seem to implement strategies like these, therapy might be for you. Give us a call at 780-446-0300 or send us an email at info@dochaspsych.com to find out how we can help you.
About Dochas Psychological
Dochas Psychological Services is a well-established and trusted therapy clinic located in Spruce Grove, Alberta. At Dochas we value the idea that everyone deserves a safe space. Through connection and education, our team works hard to build a trustworthy relationship with each of our clients. It is our goal to create a community for our clients to feel like they belong.
Disclaimer
Information provided through Dochas Psychological Services blogs or vlogs are meant for educational purposes only. They are NOT medical or mental health advice. You can read more about our disclaimer here.
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[…] I know how easy it is to make your bedroom a space where you do everything but sleep! You might have a TV in front of you, there’s a good chance you sneak your work computer in a time or two, and don’t even get me started on the struggle of putting the cell phone away at night. Texting anxiety is real. If you struggle with this, click here for 6 Strategies that will help. […]