Motherhood is a beautiful, transformative journey, but it can also completely shake your sense of self. If you’ve ever wondered, “Who am I now?” after becoming a mom, you’re not alone.
Hi, I’m Amy, a mental health therapist here at Dóchas Psych in Spruce Grove, and a mom of two young boys. I wanted to share my own experience with losing my identity as a mom, and explain what helped me reconnect with myself along the way.
Losing Your Identity in Motherhood Is More Common Than You Think
The day your little human is born, your world changes. Suddenly, everything revolves around keeping them safe, fed, and loved. Your needs, dreams, and routines? They tend to take a back seat.
I felt like I lost a part of myself when I became a mom. I loved my son deeply, but I missed me. The guilt of wanting space or time for myself was real, and I know I’m not the only one who has felt that way.
Wanting More Doesn’t Make You a Bad Mom
It is so important to remind yourself that wanting personal space, hobbies, or goals doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you human.
In fact, reclaiming your identity in motherhood is a huge part of becoming a more grounded, balanced parent. When we nourish ourselves, we show our kids what it looks like to live authentically.
What Helped Me Reclaim My Identity as a Mom
- Building a support system
Connecting with other moms who just get it has been one of the biggest helps. There’s something powerful about knowing you’re not alone in how you feel—and hearing that reflected back to you with empathy. - Setting boundaries
This one’s tough, but necessary. Communicating your needs—whether to your partner, family, or even to yourself—isn’t just about survival. It’s about thriving. And when we model boundaries, our kids benefit too. - Practicing Self Care
This can look like making time for a hobby you love, taking a solo walk, or even just having a few quiet moments to yourself. It doesn’t have to be big or fancy, it just needs to be something that you love to do.
Reclaiming Your Identity Takes Time, But It’s Worth It
Losing your identity in motherhood can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be permanent. Start small. Revisit the hobbies that brings you joy. Talk to someone who sees the you beyond your mom role.
A fulfilled, balanced mom isn’t just happier, she’s more connected, more present, and more herself. And that’s definitely something worth working toward.
Remember, every day is a step towards understanding your child and your role as their mother. If you’re struggling with finding yourself, please feel free to reach out to Dóchas at 780-446-0300 or info@dochaspsych.com. Book an in-person (Spruce Grove) or virtual (across Alberta) appointment with one of our therapists here.
About Dóchas Psychological
Dóchas Psychological Services is a well-established and trusted therapy clinic located in Spruce Grove, Alberta. At Dóchas we value the idea that everyone deserves a safe space. Through connection and education, our team works hard to build a trustworthy relationship with each of our clients. It is our goal to create a community for our clients to feel like they belong.
Disclaimer
Information provided through Dóchas Psychological Services blogs or vlogs is meant for educational purposes only. They are NOT medical or mental health advice. You can read more about our disclaimer here.
