Postpartum… That time frame between the first 6 weeks after delivery and…let’s be real, the next two (or more) years? Hi, it’s Maddi on the blog this week, and in honour of Maternal Mental Health Week (May 4-10), I’d like to explore something that doesn’t get nearly enough airtime.
There’s often this artificial finish line placed on the postpartum period. Once that dinner-plate-sized hole in your belly has healed, around 6 weeks, the world seems to assume you’re through it. But here’s what nobody tells you:
Mentally, the experience is often just beginning at 6 weeks, and for many women, it takes around two years to truly settle. That’s completely normal! In my experience, and in that of every mom I’ve ever talked to, the timeframe looks different for everyone, and my goal here is to normalize all of it.
If you’re 6 months postpartum and feeling fantastic, we are all cheering for you.
But if you’re sitting here one year, two years, or even more down the road, still wrestling with unwanted intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and just not feeling like yourself yet, that’s very normal too, and you are far from alone.
Or if you’re a brand new mom wondering what on earth is happening to you, you’re in the right place! Keep reading.
Postpartum Anxiety and Intrusive Thoughts
As someone who has been through it firsthand, I can tell you that there’s truly no intrusive thought that doesn’t still amaze me with how powerful, and unsettling, the postpartum brain can be. And yet, none of it surprises me anymore either.
Your brain is working overtime during this season of life, and sometimes that means it goes to some really dark and frightening places. Research shows that approximately 70-100% of new moms experience unwanted intrusive thoughts postpartum (Collardeau, 2019), so if you’re having them, you’re not alone!
So What Exactly is an Intrusive Thought?
For me, they ranged from vivid fears of something horrific happening to my child, fears so intense they kept me from leaving the house, to the deeply frightening thought that I could somehow cause harm to my baby. That last one is more common than you might think: research suggests that around 50% of intrusive thoughts in postpartum women involve fears of harming their child (Collardeau, 2019). It doesn’t mean you would ever act on them.
These thoughts, left unspoken, can snowball into serious anxiety, keeping us isolated at home, desperate for someone to stay close, or shutting down entirely under the weight of guilt and fear. It can be terrifying to tell anyone these thoughts, which is quite isolating.
This can be how postpartum depression moves in.
What Does Postpartum Depression Actually Feel Like?
Feeling worthless, guilty about your intrusive thoughts, lonely, sad, lethargic, or even full of rage? These are all very real and very common symptoms of postpartum depression and far more women experience them than you probably think.
So much comes with postpartum depression, and the reason it affects so many women silently is because of the shame and stigma that still surrounds it. If we could remove that shame, we could help so many more women get the support they need, sooner. So here we are, talking about it, normalizing it, and making sure you know you’re not alone!
You Don’t Have to White-Knuckle Your Way Through Postpartum
The dark and overwhelming thoughts, the anxiety, the depression. These experiences are common among almost everyone who’s postpartum, but they do not have to be something you simply endure. You don’t need to feel guilt, shame, or embarrassment about what your brain comes up with, the fears that show up uninvited, or the heaviness that settles in. Recognizing that these experiences are normal is a powerful first step and there are real options to help you feel like yourself again.
How Therapy Can Support Postpartum Mental Health
One of the most powerful tools available to you is therapy. Having a safe space to unload your thoughts without judgment — and instead receive validation and genuine support — can make an enormous difference. Therapy can offer practical tools like mindfulness, deep breathing, and coping strategies, but sometimes the most healing thing is simply having somewhere to say the terrifying things out loud and be reminded that you are normal.
Therapy can feel financially out of reach for some, but Dóchas offers affordable options to make sure that barrier doesn’t stand between you and the support you deserve and there are several moms on our team who have likely sat exactly where you are now.
Is Postpartum Medication Worth Considering?
Medication can be another genuinely life-changing option, and I say that from personal experience.
I’m not a medical doctor and I won’t be recommending specific medications nor recommending that you yourself take medication, but I will do my part to remove the stigma around this conversation. It took me three babies before I finally tried medication, and if I could go back, I would never have spent those first two postpartum journeys suffering the way I did. It made all the difference the third time around. With my fourth child, I’m doing all of it: therapy, medication, and speaking openly, because I refuse to go through it alone again.
Finding Support Postpartum
If you’re experiencing any of these feelings, intrusive thoughts, or anxieties, please know that you are so far from alone and there are so many people and options ready to help. Don’t hesitate to reach out to your doctor or a therapist. You do not have to suffer in silence or carry shame for experiences that are a normal part of this season of life.
And if you are experiencing thoughts of suicide or fears that you may harm your baby, please know there is no shame in that either, but do reach out for help right away. Talk to your partner, a trusted loved one, or your doctor.
Not Sure Where to Start with Therapy?
Take the Dóchas Compass (1–2 minute quiz) and we’ll guide you toward the best fit therapist for you.
If you already know what you’re looking for, you can book an appointment online (in-person in Spruce Grove or virtual across Alberta) or call us at 780-446-0300.
References
Collardeau, F., Corbin, B., Avramowitz, J., Janssen, A. P., Woody, S., Fairbrother, N. (2019). Maternal unwanted and intrusive thoughts of infant-related harm, obsessive-compulsive disorder and depression in the perinatal period: study protocol. BMC Psychiatry. https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/counter/pdf/10.1186/s12888-019-2067-x.pdf
About Dóchas Psychological
Dóchas Psychological Services is a well-established and trusted therapy clinic located in Spruce Grove, Alberta. At Dóchas we value the idea that everyone deserves a safe space. Through connection and education, our team works hard to build a trustworthy relationship with each of our clients. It is our goal to create a community for our clients to feel like they belong.
Disclaimer
Information provided through Dóchas Psychological Services blogs or vlogs is meant for educational purposes only. They are NOT medical or mental health advice. You can read more about our disclaimer here.
