Here’s something I wish someone had told me sooner: Just because you think something doesn’t make it true. Your thoughts are not facts.
I’m Amy from Dóchas Psychological in Spruce Grove. And my brain? She’s dramatic. She catastrophizes, assumes the worst, dwells on conversations, and sets unreasonable expectations daily.
For years, I believed her. Every intrusive thought. Every self-deprecating thought. Every “you’re not good enough,” “everyone’s annoyed by you,” and “you’re not going to fit in so why try?”
Until Cognitive Behavioural Therapy changed everything for me.
Keep reading to learn why. Your brain will thank you!
What Is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)?
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is like hiring a logic coach to live in your head.
It’s a therapeutic approach that helps you recognize unhelpful patterns in your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, and then challenges them. It teaches you to ask, “Is this thought helpful? Is it even accurate?” And most importantly: “Would I ever say this to someone I love?”
Why Am I So Mean to Myself?
Let me paint you a picture.
I was standing in front of the mirror, getting ready for a night out. I should’ve been excited. But instead, my brain chimed in with a familiar chorus:
“Your face looks tired and you look bad in those clothes.”
“That new outfit isn’t doing you any favours.”
“Everyone’s going to think you look ridiculous.”
It was an awful feeling. I remember wanting to hide under my bed and never leave my room.
CBT has taught me to pause and question those thoughts instead of just accepting them as truth. Now, I try to respond like this:
Thought
“That new outfit isn’t doing you any favours.”
My Brain After CBT
“Actually, I’m just not used to seeing myself in an outfit like this. I’m stepping out of my comfort zone, and that’s brave. And also, who cares what others will think? If they don’t like it, they don’t have to look.”
The “Catch, Check, Change” CBT Method
CBT is full of techniques, but one of the most effective (and doable when your mind is spiraling) is Catch, Check, Change. Question and fact-check those negative thoughts.
1. Catch the thought and name it.
“I just told myself I’m a failure because I forgot one thing, whose voice was that?”
“This was simply an automatic negative thought that my brain is used to creating.”
2. Check the evidence.
“I’ve remembered so many other things today. I’m human (not a robot).”
“Is there actually any proof that I’m a failure?”
3. Change the thought.
This is where the magic happens! Once I challenge the thought, I reframe it into something balanced and realistic.
“I made a mistake. It doesn’t define me. That is not who I am.”
“What would I say if this happened to my best friend?”, then say that instead.
It sounds simple. And it is simple! But it’s also so powerful.
Why Self-Compassion Is Essential for Changing Negative Thoughts
This is the part that took the longest for me: being nice to myself.
I was always great at being kind and feeling empathy for everyone else. But why was it so hard to give myself the same grace and compassion?
CBT helped me understand that I can validate my feelings without letting my thoughts run wild. I can say, “Yeah, that was hard,” and still remind myself, “I’m not a failure because of it.”
Compassion is a strength!
Put Your Negative Thoughts to the Test
The next time a negative thought is holding you back, don’t just challenge it in your head, test it in real life.
Here’s an example:
- Catch the Thought: You think: “If I share my opinion in this work meeting, I’ll be criticized and judged.” Instead of immediately believing this, you ask yourself: “Is that really true?”
- Check the Evidence: You ask yourself: “Is there actually any proof that they’ll criticize and judge me? Has that really ever happened before?”
- Change the Thought: You tell yourself: “My coworkers have liked my ideas before. And even when I’ve been wrong in the past, no one held it against me.”
- Challenge the Thought: So, you go for it and share your idea. Guess what: the world doesn’t end and you might even feel great about your contribution to the meeting!
This is called a behavioural experiment, and it’s one of CBT’s most powerful tools.
Every time you push past your fear and nothing catastrophic happens, it slowly chips away at your negative core beliefs. Over time your brain starts to realize: “Hey, maybe I don’t know everything after all!”
Can CBT Really Stop Negative Self-Talk for Good?
Honestly, CBT probably won’t make your negative thoughts disappear completely, but it can really help you reframe them.
Sometimes I still catch myself slipping into old patterns. Now, instead of letting those thoughts sit in the driver’s seat, I question them. I challenge them. I don’t let myself believe them without fact-checking first. Learning to work with my brain instead of against it has made all the difference for me!
Remember, when you have a negative thought, ask yourself:
- Is this thought true?
- Is this thought helpful?
Then, replace the thought with a more realistic and truthful version.
If any of this resonated with you, therapy might be exactly the space you need to start fact-checking those thoughts with someone in your corner!
Not Sure Where to Start with Therapy?
Take the Dóchas Compass (1–2 minute quiz) and we’ll guide you toward the best fit therapist for you.
If you already know what you’re looking for, you can book an appointment online (in-person in Spruce Grove or virtual across Alberta) or call us at 780-446-0300.
About Dóchas Psychological
Dóchas Psychological Services is a well-established and trusted therapy clinic located in Spruce Grove, Alberta. At Dóchas we value the idea that everyone deserves a safe space. Through connection and education, our team works hard to build a trustworthy relationship with each of our clients. It is our goal to create a community for our clients to feel like they belong.
Disclaimer
Information provided through Dóchas Psychological Services blogs or vlogs is meant for educational purposes only. They are NOT medical or mental health advice. You can read more about our disclaimer here.
