Let’s set the scene.
You’ve made it through 93% of your day without swearing under your breath or yelling so loud your neighbours second-guess your sanity. You’re basically the parent of the year at this point.
And then… someone wipes their gross sticky hands on your freshly washed pants.
Suddenly, your patience has officially run out… And you snap.
Our kids didn’t come with manuals and no one warned us about the level of patience we need to raise them (or the amount of laundry we’d be doing).
Losing our cool is part of parenting. I’m Amy from Dóchas Psychological on the blog this week, and I’ve been there too! Every single parent has been there.
The good news is that what happens afterwards is where the real parenting begins.
Why Do I Snap at My Kids?
We get so wrapped up in just keeping our little ones alive and worrying about what’s best for them, we forget about our own humanity and our own needs.
When we lose our cool and snap, it’s a reminder that we need to take a step back and reflect inward.
Meltdowns are messy, loud, and sometimes involve throwing a Mcdonald’s happy meal toy in the garbage when they’re not looking. What we need to remember is that these are teachable moments, for us and for our kids too.
These moments reveal our stress limits, unhealed wounds, and the impossible standards we hold ourselves to. They’re not our finest hours, but we need to listen to them.
The Post-Meltdown Glow-Up
The positive side of all this messy stuff is that it’s reparable.
Next time you have a meltdown, try sitting with these questions:
- What do I need right now?
- What is this really about?
- Am I angry with my child, myself, or my own parents?
- When was the last time I ate, drank water, or had a nap?
Our kids don’t need immortal, invincible robots for parents. They benefit from seeing our real, vulnerable, and honest sides. They need to hear us take accountability and own our behaviour.
Here are some things you can say to your kids after you’ve had a meltdown:
- “I’m sorry I yelled, that was not about you.”
- “That wasn’t your fault.”
- “Even grown-ups have big feelings sometimes and make mistakes.”
Each time we own our behaviour and mistakes, we’re teaching them accountability, honesty, self-compassion, and the power of a sincere apology.
How to Be Kinder to Myself After a Bad Parenting Moment
The next time you have a bad parenting moment, give yourself some grace and compassion and remind yourself that your meltdowns don’t define your parenting status and that the way you overcome and repair the relationship is much more important than the meltdown itself.
Our kids are resilient and they learn from our humility.
Am I A Good Parent?
You’re doing great! The fact that you are reading this blog and questioning your parenting skills already makes you a fantastic parent.
So keep showing up, even when you lose it. Especially then!
For more local Parkland County parenting support, check out Alberta Parenting for the Future or try therapy at Dochas Psychological Services.
Not Sure Where to Start with Therapy?
Take the Dóchas Compass (1–2 minute quiz) and we’ll guide you toward the best fit therapist for you.
If you already know what you’re looking for, you can book an appointment online (in-person in Spruce Grove or virtual across Alberta) or call us at 780-446-0300.
About Dóchas Psychological
Dóchas Psychological Services is a well-established and trusted therapy clinic located in Spruce Grove, Alberta. At Dóchas we value the idea that everyone deserves a safe space. Through connection and education, our team works hard to build a trustworthy relationship with each of our clients. It is our goal to create a community for our clients to feel like they belong.
Disclaimer
Information provided through Dóchas Psychological Services blogs or vlogs is meant for educational purposes only. They are NOT medical or mental health advice. You can read more about our disclaimer here.
