Is My Nervous System ‘Regulated’?

Many people naturally assume that having a regulated nervous system means feeling calm, peaceful, and unbothered all of the time. If that were true, most of us (me included) would be failing miserably.

The reality is that nervous system regulation is not the absence of stress, anxiety, sadness, frustration, or overwhelm. Having a regulated nervous system does not mean floating through life in a permanent state of zen.

Nervous system regulation actually refers to our ability to respond flexibly, or adapt, to what life places in front of us.

McMaster University (2024) outlines the physiology behind our nervous system- breaking it down into a network of nerves and cells that support transmitting signals between different parts of our body. It can be broadly divided into two branches: the sympathetic nervous system, responsible for the “fight or flight” response, and the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes a state of rest and relaxation. When these systems are out of balance, we may begin to notice increased stress, anxiety and other health concerns.

Life naturally activates our nervous systems. Deadlines, conflict, grief, global crises, uncertainty, parenting, relationships, change, and even exciting life events can create a stress response.

Our nervous systems are designed to react to these experiences. The goal is not to eliminate those reactions, as again we would be setting ourselves up for failure because this is not how our bodies are designed to respond, but to develop our capacity to move through them.

Read more about the Window of Tolerance in Alix’s past blog.

Is Being Calm All the Time a Myth?

One of the challenges with modern conversations about nervous system regulation is that many strategies are presented as quick fixes. Ice baths, breathing exercises, cold plunges, supplements, and morning routines all have their place. However, nervous system regulation is not something we achieve once and then check off a list. It is an ongoing relationship with ourselves that we should strive for our whole life.

If you have ever found yourself wondering why you still feel anxious despite doing all the “right” things, know that regulation is not about perfection and certainly not about never becoming activated. Rather, it is about building trust in our ability to navigate whatever ‘activation’ arises.

What Does Nervous System Regulation Look Like in Everyday Life?

If you are looking for ways to support your nervous system, I encourage you to consider starting small and exploring some of the opportunities available right here in Spruce Grove, if you’re local to the area.

Try these regulation-friendly activities:

• Take a walk through Jubilee Park
• Meet up with a loved one at the Farmer’s Market
• Explore Community Social Development programs aimed at supporting connection
• Move your body in whatever way feels good
• Spend time outdoors and connect with your neighbours and community

Remember, regulation doesn’t always look the same:

• Sometimes it looks like taking a walk when you notice your stress rising
• Sometimes it looks like asking for help, either from a loved one or a therapist
• Sometimes it looks like allowing yourself to cry
• Sometimes it looks like just naming that you’re overwhelmed rather than trying to “fix” it

Our nervous system learns through experience. Every time we notice that we’re moving into a fight-or-flight response and respond with awareness and curiosity rather than autopilot or judgment, we strengthen our capacity for regulation.

My encouragement is not to overcomplicate things, as this may have the opposite effect that we’re hoping for. Our nervous systems yearn for safety, adaptability, and connection. The goal is to build confidence in our ability to notice stress, respond to it, and find our way back to balance.  

Happy regulating.