One of the common concerns I hear from my clients sounds something like this: “I thought I was doing better, but lately it feels like I’m back at square one”.
You might expect that if therapy is working, each week should feel a little easier than the last. This is understandable, especially because we often imagine progress as a straight line moving steadily upward.
If we are doing therapy “right”, we’ll leave each session feeling light as a feather. Right?
Hi! 👋🏼 it’s Alicia on the blog and I have some news… Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), humans are extremely complex and healing journeys are almost never linear.
The Myth of Linear Progress in Therapy
Progress rarely looks like a straight line.
More often, it’s a winding path with twists, turns, pauses, setbacks, and unexpected detours. Sometimes therapy can even make you feel worse before you feel better. This is not intended to scare you, and it certainly does not mean that therapy isn’t working.
Many of us spend years developing strategies to avoid pain, difficult emotions, uncomfortable memories, or challenging truths about ourselves. These strategies often develop for good reasons, to help us cope. Therapy invites us to slow down and become curious about experiences we may have spent years avoiding.
Many of us enter therapy with the hope that our growth will be predictable, that each session will build neatly upon the last and that we will find our way to a point where struggle no longer shows up.
While this sounds lovely, and it certainly would make therapeutic progress easier to measure, it’s rarely how growth unfolds.
What’s the Point of Therapy?
Most of us come to therapy with the same goal: to make meaningful change in our lives and feel better about ourselves. When sessions feel hard and those changes aren’t obvious, it’s understandable to wonder whether therapy is working.
Part of that uncertainty can come from what we expect therapy to do.
If you see its purpose as “fixing” you, every difficult feeling or familiar reaction can seem like evidence that something is still wrong with you.
But therapy is not meant to fix us.
The real purpose of therapy is to help you become more aware, navigate challenges with greater flexibility and self-compassion, and create choice where there once was automatic reaction.
What Does Progress in Therapy Look Like?
Progress in therapy may look like:
- Setting a boundary you previously avoided.
- Recognizing anxiety before it completely takes over.
- Recovering from a difficult experience in days rather than weeks.
- Noticing an old pattern and choosing something different.
- Finding yourself being more reflective and with curiosity rather than judgment.
- Staying present with a difficult emotion for a moment rather than immediately trying to escape it.
These moments can be easy to miss, especially when you’re expecting a bigger breakthrough. But setting a boundary, recognizing a pattern, or staying with an uncomfortable feeling can reflect meaningful improvements in how you respond to everyday challenges.
Sometimes your progress becomes clearer when you look back. A conversation you once avoided may feel less intimidating, or you might notice your shoulders aren’t as tense in a situation that used to put you on edge. While you may still struggle, you have more ways to support yourself through tough times.
Do I Need to Make Noticeable Progress in Every Therapy Session?
In a world that is often rooted in a “growth mindset”, it feels important for me to note the societal pressure of achievement and how this can show up in therapy. You won’t always leave a therapy session with a breakthrough or a noticeable change, and that alone doesn’t mean therapy isn’t helping.
When we’re used to measuring success by what we accomplish, it can be hard to celebrate changes that aren’t immediately visible. You may feel you should be further along or get frustrated when you revisit something you thought you’d worked through. Meaningful psychological change often requires slowness, repetition, practice, and time. Giving yourself that time is part of making progress, even when you don’t have a breakthrough to show for it.
Journal Prompts to Help You Recognize Progress in Therapy
When you’re having a hard day, it’s easy to lose sight of how far you’ve come.
Try exploring one or two of these questions, whether you reflect on your own, write in your journal, talk them through with someone you trust, or bring them up in therapy.
- What does “being healed” look like in my mind? Am I expecting myself to never struggle, feel upset, or fall into an old pattern ever again?
- When something difficult happened recently, did I respond differently than I might have before? Maybe I noticed what I was feeling sooner, asked for support, or gave myself more time to recover.
- Am I giving myself credit for the small changes and improvements? What am I overlooking because I’m waiting for a “big breakthrough”?
- What still feels stuck, and what would I like help with? Is there something I’d like to spend more time exploring with my therapist?
A difficult session doesn’t mean you’re back at square one. If you’re unsure whether therapy is helping, share that with your therapist. Together, you can look at what has changed, how you’ve progressed, where you’re still struggling, and whether a different approach or modality could help.
Not Sure Where to Start with Therapy?
Take the Dóchas Compass (1–2 minute quiz) and we’ll guide you toward the best fit therapist for you.
If you already know what you’re looking for, you can book an appointment online (in-person in Spruce Grove or virtual across Alberta) or call us at 780-446-0300.
About Dóchas Psychological
Dóchas Psychological Services is a well-established and trusted therapy clinic located in Spruce Grove, Alberta. At Dóchas we value the idea that everyone deserves a safe space. Through connection and education, our team works hard to build a trustworthy relationship with each of our clients. It is our goal to create a community for our clients to feel like they belong.
Disclaimer
Information provided through Dóchas Psychological Services blogs or vlogs is meant for educational purposes only. They are NOT medical or mental health advice. You can read more about our disclaimer here.
